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By: George Amos

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Tuesday, 16-May-2006 23:35 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Asian X-Games 2006; KL, Malaysia.

Carl 'The Man Child' Hills harnessing that voodoo magic.
Alang 'Seven Inches Limp' Reza.
Alang. Soul on the sketchiest ledge, the night before the comp.
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I knew I was in for trouble as I sat on the couch in the corner of the hotel room, nursing my eigth Guiness talking shit with the Chinese rollers that didn’t speak any English. I spent most mornings tanking complimentary Red Bulls, most afternoons watching world-class rollerblading and most nights spanking married women, cheersing with the Hongkies, pouring Chris Fowlers per diem down my gullet, and finally stumbling in at 6am just as Chris ‘Early to bed, early to rise’ Haffey was brushing his teeth. Sorry Haffenshire.

The judges stand doubled as a perve podium, myself and Tom (Hyser by name but higher by nature) spent many an hour admiring the many varieties of sultry Asian female, the funnest part was guessing their age. Carl Hills ate nothing but potatoes and fried chicken. He wouldn’t even try the sweet ‘n sour dipping sauce at McDonalds. Masaaki Narita and I whiled away the lazy evenings taking English lessons courtesy of NHK television. I fell in love with Ayumi Kawasaki and Ayu, if you’re reading this, I’ll learn Japanese for you.

Soichiro earned his first place the spinny way, forcing Haffenshire to settle for second, with Thailand’s ‘Note’ in Third. But you already knew that.

Eito waited till Takeshi fell before stealing his Gold, leaving Tomohiko to snatch the crums.

Huge ‘Hooowhats’ and ‘Okays’ must be screamed into the faces of Chris Fowler, Jason Hines Beans, Mike Wilson, Richie Sharpe and that girl Gill with the double eye-lid surgery. She wasn’t a local celebrity, I don’t care what she told you.


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